Saturday, 20 June 2015

Father's Day: The Father That I Loathed

I envy those who I see hugging their dads, and saying how wonderful they were.

As Father's Day swings around once more, my thoughts reflect on this evil bastard, and the woman he married who, though not necessarily evil and who I'm sure was unaware of his past, was as unstable as a two-legged horse. The only sad thing about him dying in 1993 was that it was 30 years too late.

It took me 20 years to have the courage to write my story--to get this vile man out of my head once and for all. He was everything inhumane in a human being: thief, psychotic abuser who knocked me from pillar to post until the day when I hit him back, a serial adulterer who drove his first wife to suicide, racist, homophobe. You name it, he was it. Even after he married the fat (23 stones) woman above, he couldn't keep it inside his pants. The family called him OB--Old Bastard--for the way he treated my mother, who to date holds the record for the largest funeral in the town where I was raised.

As for her--she mocked the two good women in my life--my wife and my mother-in-law--giving us just 6 months of marriage, and predicting that the latter would end up "in the cuckoo house". In fact, that's where SHE ended up. My father-in-law said that if she'd have lived in 18th century France, she'd have been sat in front of the guillotine, knitting.

As for the siblings who said that I would never amount to much in life--well, three have fared reasonably well, while two ended up in jail for heinous crimes, another drove a man to suicide, and another one--who very definitely takes after her mother--would have given Freud (and Boris Karloff) nightmares.

It's all here, in my story!

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Tabloid Reporters Pig Out On Ched Evans Once More

The tabloids are not going to lay off this man until he either kills himself, as Justin Fashanu did, or until he sues the crap out of them. I would prefer him to win his appeal and do the latter. 
This time it's the Sun's Leigh Holmwood, Lauren Veevers, Ruth Warrender and Lauren Probert going for the jugular, because Ched attended a weekend wedding. Yep, it takes FOUR hacks to write a 300-word story, so I guess great journalism is not dead.These people do not care if Ched raped anyone or not--they are interested only in grabbing a juicy headline. He was reported to be smiling and having fun. Well, you stupid biddies, that's what usually happens at weddings--though with some of my family weddings you could also guarantee a good old punch-up, or to cop off with one of the bridesmaids! Ched is berated for looking relaxed. Would these hacks rather him have taken a short walk into the woods with a long rope? And the sniping doesn't snap with Ched, for we are told that the newlyweds have a baby daughter--how very noble of their moral stance. A few years ago, when I was "nabbed" by one odious rag, I commented that I welcomed the Morrissey-style accidental demise of my "nabbers" in a car smash on the M6. Within months the car had been replaced by a minibus--if they keep this up, we're going to be wishing for a fleet of double-decker buses. 

Tuesday, 16 June 2015

My Own Story: The Psychotic Father & Creepy Stepmother!

A short extract. For the stepmother chapter you'll have to get the book!


Evil, cruel, contrived, nasty, homophobic, slimy, pathetic, puerile, poisonous, loathsome, psychotic, despotic, anti-Semitic, bigoted, adulterous and loud-mouthed. These are just some of the terms—and I’m sure there are more—that applied to George Spurr, my adoptive father. Add to this roster child-beater, rapist and crook, and this just about sums him up.
   It used to make me angry and confused, as a child, watching fathers hugging their sons, or seeing sons weeping for the fathers they had loved and lost. Mine never once hugged me, or showed the slightest affection towards anyone when he was a part of my life, or even suggested that he cared about anyone but himself. When at family weddings I watched fathers proudly lead their daughters down the aisle to give them away at their wedding, my heartfelt desire was to see mine laid out in a wooden box.
   While at Milletts, I dated Paul, one of the window-dressers, and as a matter of course invited him to home to meet Mother. It was a Saturday. O.B. had gone off somewhere with his latest floosie or on a bender with one of the few friends he had—you always knew when he came home because you could hear him retching in the bathroom, or outside in the yard. O.B. had the habit of drinking a lot, but not always keeping it down. When Paul missed the last bus home, rather than spend money on a taxi, Mother insisted that he stay the night. The next morning, at breakfast, he seemed a little upset and withdrawn, and Mother asked him what was wrong. It turned out that Saturday was the night he met up with his father and they had a night out.
   “We’ve gone out every Saturday, religiously, for the past five years since I turned eighteen,” Paul explained. “Last night’s the first time I’ve missed. I love my dad. I know Nature’s going to take its course one day, but I honestly don’t know how I’d ever cope if anything happened to him. You must feel the same…”
   Half an hour later, O.B. swaggered into the room, grinning and whistling “Please Release Me,” and tossed the car-keys on to the table.
   “I wish somebody would release me,” he growled. “Is there anything for breakfast, woman—or do I have to get it myself?”
   He stormed out of the room and headed upstairs, and Mother took the knife from the drawer to cut the rind off the bacon, and tested the blade on the edge of her thumb.
   “One of these days,” she muttered.
   The day I learned that O.B. had died was one of the happiest of my life. He was exactly what it said on the tin. An old bastard.

Monday, 15 June 2015

Teenage Suicide Bombers Are Not "Nice Kids"

Why is it that each time a teenage suicide bomber blows hims/herself and others up that "friends, family and community members" invariably say that he/she was a nice person who was radicalised, and therefore not to blame?
Do we say then that the ones who stabbed their teachers--one last year, another this--were not responsible for their actions, and pass off a tragic incident as "just one of those things"?
If they have enough sense to work a computer or mobile phone, then they have more than enough sense to realise exactly what they're doing, and in my opinion the ones claiming how "nice" these kids are are just as responsible.
Time, I think, to introduce something alone the lines of the King Herod Factor. I don't advocate violence--that's reserved in my book for racists and homophobes--but I do advocate some sort of action which would mean that, if a teenager joins these groups and hurts/kills, then those defending him or her should either shut up or be sent out there after him, and made to stay there. These people are very strong on family values, after all. 

Thursday, 11 June 2015

Australian Couple To Divorce Over Same-Sex Marriage: Homophobia Gone Mad

I've known quite a few homophobes in my time, and without exception there has been something radically or even mentally wrong with these people--they've either had something to hide or some hidden agenda, and invariably they have been the "victims" of failed marriages and relationships for no other reason than they were hateful and vile.
Now we have a pair of Australian "Christians" wishing to take their homophobia to the next level. If same sex marriage is allowed, they will divorce--but still have children. So, they are willing to go against their religious beliefs and have their children stigmatised as bastards all on the name of bigotry and homophobia?
I would call these two heathens of the highest order, for dictating who we should or should not love. They certainly do not know the meaning of the word. And isn't there something very "Prisoner Cell Block H" about that cheesy grin of hers.
Why don't they just jump off Ayres Rock? This way they can be together for eternity and save money on divorce! And they would do decent people--who love each other mindless of sexual persuasion--a massive favour!

  • Video
  • Nick and Sarah Jensen posed for Canberra CityNews to announce their gay marriage protest.
    Nick and Sarah Jensen posed for Canberra CityNews to announce their gay marriage protest. Source: Supplied

    A CANBERRA couple has announced their intention to divorce if gay people are allowed to get married too.

    Nick Jensen, who posed with his wife Sarah on the cover of the latest issue of Canberra CityNews, writes of the Christian couple’s decision to end their marriage under the headline, “Gay law change may force us to divorce”.
    “My wife and I just celebrated our 10-year anniversary. But later this year, we may be getting a divorce,” he writes.
    “The decision to divorce is not one we’ve taken lightly. And certainly, it’s not one that many will readily understand. And that’s because it’s not a traditional divorce.”
    Mr Jensen goes on to explain the divorce plan, where the pair will continue to live together, have more kids, and refer to each other as husband and wife, but will legally end their marriage because they believe “marriage is not a human invention”.

    Tuesday, 9 June 2015

    Barbara 85 Years ~ 85 Ans ~ La Plus Grande Chanteuse Francaise, Et Ma Grande Amie

    My great friend, Barbara, would have turned 85 today.
    Ma grande amie Barbara aura été 85 ce jour.
    I think about her every day. This is her with Baryshnikov, after performing my English adaptation of "Solitude", covered by a young admirer, Mika.
    There's an extended interview with Barbara in the book being published to commemorate Edith Piaf's centenary. In this she speaks lovingly about Piaf and Marie Dubas, and the songs they shared...and about Georges Moustaki, the thug they shared.
    Jeanne and I were at every Parisian Barbara premiere, and we all socialised together with some wonderful people: Reggiani, Saprich, Dumont.
    Days which sadly will never return.
    Many times I've been asked to write about our friendship. Will I do this?

    Saturday, 6 June 2015

    Charles Kennedy, Bruce Jenner & The Bigots

    The BBC get a barrage of complaints related to the death of Charles Kennedy, a very fine, much-loved politician. His alcohol problems should not have been mentioned in the obituaries, some say, as it upset his family and does nothing to help others suffering from drink problems.
    Bruce Jenner, the multi-millionaire celebrity who won a few races when he was a sportsman, but in recent years has been little more than an over-blown, over-paid (and thankfully not over here) reality star, has received global praise for his latest truc. "So," Mummy asks, "What are you going to do this year, Brucie, to grab the headlines?" To which comes the response, "This year I'm going to have a crack at becoming a woman, but I won't have the op because when I've exhausted the topic, I may want to revert to who I was--or maybe I'll go on a safari and save endangered species. It all depends on how much I get paid!" And Bruce's "courage" is boasted to help other transgender wannabes around the world., which stinks of bigotry.
    So, the sad story of poor Charles Kennedy should have been kept OUT of the press, even though his plight WILL help others, and save our Health Service money---whilst a 65-year-old transvestite looking like a very bad Kate O'Mara impersonator, flashing his airbrushed thighs on a magazine cover will inspire others to look like him? Oh, and earn him a lot of dosh. Somehow I don't think so.
    And before I get bombarded with accusations of "transphobia", take a look at pictures of celebrity alcoholics, and compare what you see with pictures of so-called transgender personalities. Most of them do not look good, and the ones that do are the ones who never boast, or post pictures of themselves looking ridiculous. April Ashley was gorgeous, as was Coccinelle, as was Barbette, as was Karen Dior, who I met and loved. They didn't go all the way, but at all times they looked lovely. Then take a look at some of the others, the best of whom often look little better than Arthur Mullard in drag. When did you ever see a woman walking down the street who looked like Lauren Harries? And as for the young chap I fell out with the other day--I won't name him because that wouldn't be cricket. He was forever making quotes such as how he had been walking through the street and had felt a draft because his skirt had got caught in his knickers--or he posted videos of himself dancing very badly in a long frock, or with flowers in his hair and pouting his lips like Carmen Miranda meets Carry On. Does he think that this helps his cause--or that it just makes people want to take the micky? Even so, I wish him luck and love--even though I am sure he hates me now. During our friendship I offered him nothing but admiration and support, but my ridiculing of Bruce Jenner brought down the curtain. It's a bit like criticising me for saying that I love all tigers, though I would shoot the one that just ate my grandson. You can't win 'em all!
    And before I get bombarded with more accusations of "transphobia", think scientifically. In layman's terms, if any man still is in possession of a penis, then I don't care what anyone says--HE is still a MAN.
    And Charles Kennedy was a NICE man!

    Wednesday, 3 June 2015

    On Transgenderism


    So today I was engaged in a little fudduddle on the subject because I made a few observations about Bruce Jenner, who now calls himself Caitlyn.
    As a fully-fledged member of the Anti-Homophobia League who takes no prisoners, I would not risk criticism by making adverse comments about anyone in the LGBT community. However, Mr Jenner--and nothing, not even the Good Lord, will alter the fact that Mr only becomes Ms when surgery has taken place--does not belong to the LGBT community, and in my opinion does not serve as an ideal role model as is widely broadcast.
    I find it very hard to believe that a man can be trapped inside a woman's body for forty years, through three marriages and after siring numerous children. I also find serial reality show contestants particularly loathsome and uncomfortable to watch--sharing every bump and grind of their sex-lives in front of millions of people, publishing a book each time they change partners, which is often, and in the case of one very well-known celebrity (who effectively has done little but reality shows) appearing in a porn film widely available on the Internet. There is even a petition which has already acquired thousands of signatures regarding Mr Jenner having his Olympic medals taken away--I mean, if he believed he was a she back then, then he was obviously in the wrong race.
    Maybe the last straw came today when I was accused of "transphobia" because I disagreed with the comment that transgender parents make better parents than the conventional kind. What a load of cobblers! There are good and bad parents in every gender category, so don't give me that one!
    I also disagree with the theory of Mr Jenner being so open about his "change of gender" being beneficial to the ordinary person going through the crisis he tells us he has gone through. It's the same as Tom Daley supporters claiming that Tom coming out as gay will help others. It will help some, but I cannot imagine "doing a Tom" or "doing a Bruce" will help if you live in a rough-and-ready housing estate in Brixton--no more than calling a child Marmaduke or Huckleberry, as Bear Grylls has done, if they attend a junior school in Rotherham.
    In England, we have had two very public transgender cases in recent years. James Harries, the child antiques expert who made many gasp and more than  a few gag when emulating Wolfgang Plugg on Wogan opted to become Lauren Harries, and rather than inspiring others almost single-handedly turned the very idea of transgenderism into a mockery with her antics on Big Brother. Rather than find herself respected, she is persistently mocked and deservedly so.
    Next we have the former boxing promoter, Frank Maloney. As many know, I'm a boxing enthusiast, and I have to say, hand over heart, that Frank--Kellie as she now is--is an inspiration. She too went on Big Brother, not to make a plonker of herself like Lauren Harries, but to show the world what she was made of. We laughed with her, got angry with her--and at her, at times--and we cried with her. SHE is what respect of transgenderism is all about, and she has earned the respect she truly deserves.
    And then what happened--the Queen of Reality, who I mentioned earlier, barges into Big Brother at the last minute and steals her thunder. Save that whereas Kellie Malone adds value to the world, the other--with her atrocious behaviour--does not.
    As for the young chap I had a barney with earlier today: Stop looking at life through blinkered vision, love. There is more to it than spending the whole day on Facebook, posting pictures of everything you eat, wear and drink. It's a big, wide world out there. Explore it and get some experience before you start telling we old 'uns how to live ours!