Saturday, 7 February 2015

Bravo Katie Hopkins For Telling It As It Is About Katie Price

Yesterday, for just one hour, I actually thought that I might have liked Katie Price, aka Jordan, a river which by her own admission has been crossed many times.
It's a sad indictment of the British public that they can vote in their thousands for a "role model" who came into the house ten days after Hurricane Hilton had virtually demolished the place and everyone's sanity with it, and spent three weeks doing virtually nothing. Her first words upon descending those steps were, "Fuck, I'm going to shit myself".
The only time Katie Price sprang to half-life was to talk about her tits, what her husbands and ex-lovers--so many of these, even Confucius would be confused--liked to have shoved up their bottoms. We had lectures on vaginal squirting, we got to know how prodigious Calum Best is in the meat department. Kav--asked not about his singing career but whether his first time with a man had involved anal, and whether he was a top or bottom--was given a lesson in oral which involved a mouthful of flour and a dash to the toilet to heave. And this creature is supposed to inspire Britain's younger generation because she is "honest"? What next--teaching Little Jimmy the rudimentaries of how to be a Dilly Boy, and the Mother Superior preaching to her flock about anal warts and how to get good value out of the latest vibrating cock-ring?
And what about Miss P's hammy acting and hilariously staged panic-attacks. "She's not been well," we were told constantly throughout the aftermath of this charade. This sad little girl being helped down the steps by Emma Willis, the crocodile tears and the persistent reminder how "honest" and "sweet" she is. A big splash was made of her leaving the house for medical treatment, while Katie herself admitted that she had been "quiet" because she had been on medication. She shouldn't have been in the bloody house in the first place!
I feel deeply offended for the likes of the reformed Calum Best, Keith Chegwin, Kav, Michelle Visage (so good you say her name twice)--truly decent human beings who lost out to this fake concoction of plastic surgery and expletives. Most especially I feel offended on behalf of Katie Hopkins, who really did tell it like it is--while Rylan 'Mr Piano Teeth' Clark gurned and tried to make excuses while a woman worth a million Jordans spoke out for the vast majority of the British public by saying exactly what we were all thinking of this outrageous charade. In my opinion, Channel Five knew how it would all end before they put her in there.
It was also very brave of the other housemates to say that they had nothing against Katie for stealing their thunder and winning the show--allegedly being paid more than they were for sitting around most of the time less active than Perez Hilton's Mr Bunnykins. I think we all know exactly what every one of them was thinking, but only Katie Hopkins had the guts to say it. I cannot wait for her Tweets to start up again! 
As much as it pains me to say this, I would rather Perez Hilton have won than the one who did.
Now I expect a Katie Price book (ghostwritten, naturally) about her "emotional rollercoaster ride" in the Big Brother house, followed by tome ghostwritten by each of her amours, followed by a rebuttal book by Katie, countless magazine spreads--OK and its ilk would go out of business were it not for the likes of her and their endless spoutings about their self-inflicted amorous woes--followed by a documentary.
But at the end of the day, the REAL respect will always be afforded Katie H, Michelle, Calum et all.

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