Monday, 7 July 2014

Clark Gable: Tormented Star: What An Adorable Review!

I absolutely ADORE this review by Tom McNulty, whoever he is! It shows that someone who clearly dislikes me has gone to a great effort to be seen, and of course it whips yet another book into the best-sellers list. Read the whole thing, please! Frankly, my dear, if someone writes a shit book or makes a shit record, I ignore it, because I see no point in drawing attention to it. Some of these people persist in telling the world how worthless I am, and they spend hours doing so, which sort of defeats their objective. I guess they don't have much else to do in life, and they always give the game away who they really are. 
These people love attacking me, and I love the attention. You don't have to pay ten times the going rate to get one of my books--there are forty of them, not just one ever-regurgitated title, as some authors spend a lifetime harping on about, to sell a mere handful of copies--and my books are available everywhere. I don;t have to boast about my 'qualities' and the 'merits' of my own work because that's a surefire recipe for failure, and suggests that readers aren't able to make decisions of their own. You don't have to sneak them into the house from foreign climes like dirty little porno films. The publishers also release them at affordable prices, and they don't sneak into bookshops and place them on a pile, take a quick snap but stupidly leave the books they have moved in the shot to prove what they've done, then shove them back into their Tesco carriers. Suppliers actually stock them. Even my print-on-demands have print-runs. Newspapers review them, honestly and objectively because they're never promoted by slagging someone else off. There are radio and television interviews. I don't have to sit in a tent in some rural village and ask Moira McTaggish of The Milk-Bottle Tops Review to write a gushing load of claptrap on some obscure blog which no one reads, or get Tallulah Bankhead's mother's neighbour's sister-in-law's cat's vet to write an Introduction headed, 'Tallulah, My Cousin'. In fact, I don't have to make any effort at all. And if a particular book looks like it's not doing well, initially, I just sit back and watch the likes of Mr McNulty do all the work for me!
So, dear friends, take a look at Mr McNulty's review, and glance at some of the others which usually contain the stock phrase, 'I'm not homophobic, but...' and then read on to see them make complete tits of themselves. 
In the meantime, I'll do one about Liberace...

1.0 out of 5 stars Garbage Written by a Neanderthal, June 23, 2014
Reading David Bret’s homosexual fantasy about Clark Gable is equivalent to listening to....

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