Wednesday, 7 May 2014

See What The Tabloids Have Done To Poor Freddie Starr

 

Dear Tabloid Journalists,

Take a good look at these two pictures, taken just a couple of years apart--then hang your heads in shame. Two years ago, some of you put me through the mill and I wrote publicly that I wished for you to meet a dramatic end in a smash on the M6...or maybe it was the M1. Then there were just three of you, though within a year the saloon car had become a charabanc, and currently it's a double-decker bus.

I've seen some of you in the pub across from the High Court in London, with your steamed-up glasses and 'hooray-Henry' smarmy miens, sharpening those quills ready to give some poor soul a roasting just to satisfy your over-inflated egos. The first was Gillian Taylforth. We were standing outside the court when one smarmy git shouted to her, "Do you want to suck this, love?" How very drole. I would have let you suck on a hand-grenade, surrounded by your buddies somewhere on Hampstead Heath.

You've done it to William Roache, to an actor friend of a friend, to Jimmy Tarbuck, and to a whole host of others. 'Name and shame them,' you say. Doesn't matter whether they're guilty or not. You get a good story out of it and you go home to your loved ones, perhaps stopping off en-route for a little illicit sex, and the next day boast of your achievements. "I got him! What a caring person I am!"

None of you have the brains to realise what evil you are perpetrating. Freddie Starr will probably die very soon--he's a sick man, and you bastards have made him a whole lot sicker.You will probably write a very tiny piece on Page 17, which no one will see, apologising for your 'oversight' which you splattered across your front page. I find every single one of you contemptible. I was threatened with legal action for saying that I would expose one of the hacks who came after me, and my greatest regret is that I didn't because I was thinking about that person's family. But did that person think of mine? No! But, as my mother used to say, God moves in mysterious ways. Current events seem to be heading towards boiling point, and I am now the one sitting smugly in the background waiting for someone else to mow the lawn, so to speak.

As for you, dear tabloid journalists, you will continue to rake in the dosh while making the lives of celebrities a living hell because your mentality, and that of your editors, is firmly rooted in the gutter with all the other tab-ends, shit and vomit. But one day your victims will hit back, and when that happens, you will know about it. In the meantime, when these celebrities--most of whom are in their twilight years--are found innocent, why don't you put your consciences where your mouths are now, and expose the "victims" who have made up these stories inn the hope of earning a fast buck.

Ah, sorry. Conscience is a word which is not in your vocabulary.

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