Saturday, 31 May 2014

Rudolph Valentino: The God Who Loved Men: Italian Language Edition


Sanctioned and officially approved of by those who care, this is out as from today as print and download from Lulu, and will be in stores worldwide (though mostly in Italy, naturally!) and with on-line retailers in around two weeks' time. My grateful thanks to my Italian team for helping with this! 

Friday, 30 May 2014

In Defence Of Joey Barton

I think it's safe to say that Joey doesn't like feminists, therefore I'm with him on that one. There are some nice ones, of course, but the ones I've had the misfortune to tangle with have been so physically repulsive, I swear they would wilt roses from a hundred yards. Most of them dislike we men not because of any reason that they are so reprehensibly unpleasant that they would never get a man in a million years.
Joey likened UKIP and the other UK political parties to four ugly women, from which one must choose one, but cannot. It's an interesting analogy. He pronounced this to a UKIP MP with a mouth like a barn door, one who cried absolutely everyone down on last night's 'Question Time'. I guess that if Britain had no other choice but to have a creature like her as Prime Minister, then we would all be writing to Goering's relatives to ask if they still have that recipe for suicide pills. 
Had, say, Katherine Jenkins made such a comment as Joey, the analogy being ugly men, it would have been regarded as hilariously funny.
If the Russians put me in a room with Joey and Barn-Door Mouth and said it was either a choice of choosing one of them, or Siberia, then it would have to be Joey. Well, it would be Joey in any case, but that's by the by.

Thursday, 29 May 2014

Rudolph Valentino: New Publication

My team, bless them, having been working really hard on the back-catalogue! Foreign language editions of Elizabeth Taylor are now out in Russia, Poland, Sweden and China. Garbo is travelling the globe, so to speak. Diana Dors, Mario Lanza, Doris Day et all--not to mention dear old Nancy Sphinctergritzel--are now all out on that new-fangled Kindle thing, which I never agreed to at first. I guess because I don't like those little machines, and having people walk into me while reading them in the street, I held back thinking that they might be a flash in the pan! The team and me (or should that be the team and I?) have been inundated with requests for the Italian edition of Valentino, and the French edition of the Piaf interviews. So, here goes...
Valentino is available in print and digital editions from Lulu.Inc as from today, and will be available on Amazon and all the regular on-line and retail stores from mid-June.

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

The Calais Camp: Thank Goodness Britain Is An Island

At the risk of being criticised by those who have such small lives that they apparently monitor my every move and comment...

I was driven through this tip a few years ago and warned to keep the car door and windows locked because these people are so dangerous--there were reports of stabbings and robbery with violence. To a certain extent, I can see where Marine le Pen and Nigel Farage are coming from--obviously not with their racist and homophobic policies, but certainly with this kind of this. This has nothing to do with racism, but on France and England starting to toughen up after being a soft touch for years. My wife has twice been attacked by scum who live like pigs when they don't have to, and instead of getting jobs go scrounging and thieving. Quite simply, the French and Belgians don't want them, and neither do we. It's sad what is happening in their countries, but when one makes one's bed, upon this bed is there they must lie. If they are willing to work in the countries they invade, they should be welcomed with arms open wide and embraced by our communities. If all they want to do is scrounge off our benefits system and get free housing when there isn't enough to go around for our own people, then they should be sent back. And don't give me all that nonsense about 'poor little children'. Some of these people have a half a dozen, well aware they cannot afford them. I remember going to Marlene Dietrich's apartment, where she had a newspaper clipping of one of these scenarios on her wall, upon which she had written, "If they stopped fucking, half of their problems would go away."

Oh, and as I am not afraid to stick my head above the parapet, do me a favour. If you're going to send me hateful messages, at least have the guts to use your name!


French riot police evacuate Calais immigrant camps

CALAIS France Wed May 28, 2014 4:33am EDT
Eritrean migrants take cover from the rain under an umbrella during the daily food distribution at the harbor in Calais, northern France, May 27, 2014. REUTERS/Pascal Rossignol
Eritrean migrants take cover from the rain under an umbrella during the daily food distribution at the harbor in Calais, northern France, May 27, 2014.
Credit: Reuters/Pascal Rossignol

CALAIS France (Reuters) - French riot police started evacuating three campsites housing hundreds of immigrants in the northern port town of Calais on Wednesday, days after the anti-immigrant National Front party hammered the ruling Socialists in a European election.
The evictions, denounced by local rights organizations, had been announced by a local government prefect a week earlier - before Sunday's election drubbing - on the grounds that the makeshift camps posed problems for public health and safety.
Calais has for years attracted floods of immigrants who flee poverty or conflict in countries such as Afghanistan and Iraq, many of them hoping to cross the narrow sea channel to Britain by ferry or the sub-sea train tunnel.
"This is sad, and it changes nothing," said Jalal, an Iraqi in his 20s who watched as police moved in.
"I'll move my tent somewhere else ... but I am staying put (in Calais). What else can I do. I will try again to make the crossing. I did not come here just to give up now."
Many of the estimated 600-800 immigrants living in the three camps had moved out before the well-publicized evacuation ordered by Denis Robin, prefect for the Pas-de-Calais region.
The operation came on the heels of the European Parliament elections, where the National Front took one in four votes to come first ahead of the mainstream centre-right opposition party and, in third place, the ruling Socialist Party.
Pas-de-Calais lies in north-west France where the FN won 34 percent of the vote in Sunday's election, one of its best tallies and a tripling of its score from the 2009 EU election.
The FN has long campaigned for a dramatic reduction in immigration and opposes the "Schengen" borderless zone at the heart of the 28-member European Union.

(Reporting by Pierre Savary; Writing by Brian Love; editing by Mark John)

Monday, 26 May 2014

Nick Clegg: Custard's Last Stand?

I rather think the Lib Dems will soon eschew Byron for Stevie Smith. Boasters on a losing streak always amuse me, especially  when everyone in the world knows that they're losing--especially when they themselves know that they're losing, and yet they keep saying how popular they are. Who do these people think they are kidding? The bread shop may be boasting how good trade is, but the truth is that no one is buying. The bread's gone off--and the cost was too high in the first place.
It was a treat, watching Danny Alexander's face--boasting of how well his party are doing when they're all lying there with Redkins' (or should that be Purple?) arrows in their backs. And who wants a spokesman with a name like Ming? Who will be their leader when Nick Clegg steps down, as step down he most certainly will.
Flash Gordon?

Friday, 23 May 2014

Richard III: Archetypal Hero


My all time hero, a man who history has bullied and picked on relentlessly--much of the time without even bothering to study the facts.
I don't think he killed the Princes, whose deaths--as callous as this might sound--were necessary at the time, when England was an anarchic state, to prevent even more anarchy. This was how the country was, back then.
I first wrote this in 1987, at the same time as "The Piaf Legend". Piaf won, you could say. It was a big hit, and the publishers wanted a follow-up, and kept wanting a follow-up. Richard III and Edward IV, along with Darvinz, Dynham, Chanson all got held up in the queue. Then some kind soul decided to "blitz" publishers and ask them to stop promoting me--which led to seven contracts I would never have signed, including a trio of celluloid ones. So, Richard has been revised, and now joins the companion volume, "Edward IV".
Today, Richard's family lost the High Court battle which would have seen them deciding where to bury his remains. I voted for Windsor--if Henry VIII, the most evil king we've ever had, can lie there, then so can Richard. The societies, which I belong to, wanted York. Now it looks like he will lie in Leicester, where he was found. The problem is, all of these places are appropriate. Leicester did all the work, and in one respect if he lies there, then visitors will only go to see him. I certainly signed the veto to prevent his remains from being placed inside a glass case until then. The last thing any hero wants is to have gaggles of giggling Chinese tourists snapping him, then asking who he was.
Richard III was not just my hero, but the hero of many. His fan-clubs, around the world, have more members and followers than modern-day "heros" such as Justin Brat-Bieber and that talentless "thing" that wears dresses made out of meat.

Thursday, 22 May 2014

Russ Colombo & Carole Lombard: It Is Not I!

While there is extremely little doubt that anyone who "knocked around" with Carole Lombard was not at least 98% gay--well, Clark Gable was only thus, pre-fame, according to Joan Crawford--Billy Hayes being a prime example. The subject of my book which comes out in October is NOT the delectable crooner, Russ Columbo, who very definitely batted for Team Pink, and good for him! The subject of the book IS a man, and one of the most famous of his day--and a sequel has been commissioned. But it's not Russ! His name will be revealed two days before publication.

Carole Lombard was one of the most gorgeous, and one of the kindest women who ever drew breath. Very down to earth, too, which only added to her qualities as a human being. Who needs airs and graces? Russ was another lovely, and very nearly made it to "The Twenty-Seven Club", then in its infancy. He died while having a barney with his long-term lover, Lansing Brown, who had been showing him his collection of antique pistols. One of these went off accidentally: the bullet ricocheted off a table-top and entered Russ's eye. He died soon afterwards, with Brown more or less going off his head with grief--though it WAS an accident--while Carole assumed the very dignified role as his lavender widow. Russ's ailing mother was never told of his death--for ten years, she received postcards from him while "he" was touring. It also emerged that another of his lovers was Carole's brother, Stuart, who was a pallbearer at his funeral. "I loved Russ, not only as a man, but as a mother loves her child," Carole later said, which pretty much also sums up her relationship with Clark Gable.

It's all in "Tormented Star", now in its seventh reprint and fourth edition. 

Monday, 19 May 2014

John Sullivan: UKIP Bigot

He looks just like a geriatric Village People reject who has sat on the soap and discovered that, actually, it feels rather good. The soap of course should be used to wash out his filthy homophobic mouth.

The mind boggles! In my opinion, UKIP could only get worse if they enlisted Frijide Barjot and dug up Hitler. The only reason this lunatic party is getting any attention is because people have lost confidence in the main parties here. I certainly hope they will only be a flash in the pan. because of these creeps every get anywhere, they will take Britain back to the Middle Ages. 

One by one, however, they appear to be falling by the wayside as their little "faults" are brought to the public's attention. I wonder what Sullivan's 'secret' will be. He's sure to have one, mark my word. As for calling gays termites, and his comments about gays and gymnasiums...maybe he should have gone to my gym. There are a few so-called 'termites' who would knock that gurning smile off his face. 

Physical excercise prevents you becoming gay, claims UK councillor candidate

John Sullivan, a UKIP party candidate, up for election next week, has made a series of anti-gay Facebook comments, including congratulating Russia for banning gay Pride, and comparing gays to termites
John Sullivan, a UKIP party candidate, up for election next week, has made a series of anti-gay Facebook comments, including congradulating Russia for banning gay Pride, and comparing gays to termites
John Sullivan, a UK councillor candidate congratulated Russia on banning gay Pride marches and claimed regular exercise in schools can prevent homosexuality.
In a series of Facebook posts, Sullivan, who is a member of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) likened gay activists to termites and stated that feminism is evil and being gay is even worse.
Sullivan is standing for local elections on 2 May, to win a seat as a councillor for the Forest of Dean area in Gloucestershire’s County Council, in western England, UK.
In a series of posts on the far right anti-gay Traditional Britain Group Facebook group Sullivan expressed anti-gay views, revealed Colin Cortbus, an anti-extremist campaigner and a Gay Star News reader.
In one post Sullivan suggested regular physical exercise prevents children from becoming gay.
He recommended Victorian style regular physical exercise be reinstated in schools as it apparently causes releases of tension which prevents homosexuality.
Gay Star News readers thought Sullivan’s ideas were hilariously bad: ‘Has he never seen a gaggle of gym-bunnies?’, read one comment.
One reader stated: ‘Regular exercise made me even gayer!!’
‘Not in my gym...’, said another.
Sullivan also congratulated Russia for banning gay Pride and saying: 'Well done the Russians'.
Reacting to Sullivan’s recommendations, Nikolay Alexeyev, co-founder of Moscow Pride and Gay Russia, told GSN: ‘Unfortunately Sullivan was born in the wrong country (and century).
‘I’d advise him to ask Putin for a Russian citizenship, he would make an excellent member of United Russia and his views on promoting hatred would be far better received.
‘Putin would very likely personally take a liking to him and congratulate him on his views.’
Sullivan also went on to call gay marriage supporters 'termites' mockingly reacting to an article on Conservative party members supporting marriage equality.
His antagonism doesn’t stop there, he also claimed feminism is evil, suggesting that homosexuality is even worse (saying 'it doesn't go there').
When it comes to education, Sullivan has some novel suggestions: the best way to rear children is to handle them in a similar way to dogs, who learn that with obedience comes trust.
Sullivan recommended this method (which he said he tried and tested on his own children) be adopted by UK educational establishments.
Gay Star News contacted UKIP's Forest of Dean and West Gloucestershire Branch for comments but has received none to the date of the article's publication.
UKIP has recently come under fire for some of its members expressing anti-gay views
Nigel Farage, UKIP's leader, called upon Conservative party members to defect to his party over the government's pro gay marriage stance.
While, Olly Neville, the former chairman of UKIP’s Young Independent wing, was recently fired from his position for backing marriage equality.
Winston McKenzie, a UKIP unsuccessful MP candidate previously said gay adoption is like throwing kids to the 'dogs'.
Former UKIP chair, Dr Julia Gasper, was forced to resign when said gays are more likely to abuse children, branding LGBT rights activists as a ‘lunatics’ and claimed some gays prefer sex with animals.
Cortbus, who exposed Gasper and led to her eventual resignation, told GSN: ‘party-members and candidates like Sullivan evidence the dangers of UKIP's politics’.

Saturday, 17 May 2014

Friday, 16 May 2014

Batman, Superman & Nancy Sphinctergritzel

I love this! There's nothing more exciting than a great spoof. Fingers crossed, Nancy Sphinctergritzel looks like joining the ranks. But don't worry, she won't be in smell-o-vision! I'm amazed at the way this project as taken off. Maybe she bonked Superman, too, disguised as a human being!

Thursday, 15 May 2014

Princess Grace Of Monaco, Nicole Kidman & Mistinguett

Like our own Princess Diana, she was the ultimate drop-dead gorgeous royal who married into the ultimate dysfunctional family. Both the Grimaldis (they sound like clowns) and the Windsors (most of them are clowns) track-records speak for themselves, so no need to think I'm taking a pop. Divorces, more divorces, scandals, and all kinds of shenanigans. They make my step-family seem almost normal! And no, Mrs Anonymous, I will not publish the letters to and from HM The Queen Mother, so you can put that one in your casket and smoke it! (Very soon, please!)
Nicole Kidman's film has been well-and-truly trounced by the critics, and by Albert Grimaldi himself--who hasn't even seen it. I know that feeling. My best-selling books have usually been the ones the Amazon armchair critics haven't read, or the ones they reviewed before I'd finished writing them. Therefore I have great hopes for the film, It will be a tremendous success. 
And where does Mistinguett come in?
Well, in most French newspapers, Grace's and Rainier's engagement was shunted to one side became La Miss--who was REAL royalty--died on that day.

George Formby: An Intimate Biography Of The Troubled Genius

Title and cover change...

The cover for the revised George Formby back had to be changed, as did the title. To still use the title "George Formby: Troubled Genius" means that it pops up on all the retail sites and channels (except in Japan, for some reason!) with the old blue cover, and at the vastly inflated prices they are charging, sometimes as much as £100 because of the still considerable demand for all things Formby. It's still there, but people only see it under the old blue paperback, still at inflated prices. George's fans are not related to Lady Docker and cannot afford £30 or $45 for a humble paperback! Even the production company involved with the Formby project balk at this!

Turned out nice again!

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

RIP Stephen Sutton, An Inspiration To Us All

This young man was an inspiration to us all. I really did think he might have beaten this thing, once he announced that he was feeling a little better. I don't think any of us thought he would leave us quite so soon. Today he was given the Princess Diana Award, in honour of another inspirational figure. Had she been around today, Diana would have gone out of her way to visit him in hospital. Then again, Diana would make a hundred of the poser royals we have today. Aside from the Queen, and maybe Princess Anne, most of them are a waste of space and public money.
Stephen is gone, but his legacy will endure. He raised over £3 million for cancer research, but a fraction of the money this government has wasted on lost causes--I don't have to say which ones. And on a war which will still rage on when our troops have pulled out, and aiding foreigners who are too interested in wasting money on war and weapons than they are in looking after their own oppressed and starving people.
Stephen was a good person, and makes up for all the people in the world who by rights, upon reflection, would have aided society by never being born in the first place.
May God bless him, and may he rest in peace. xxx

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

"Tabloid Newspaper Raids Russian Embassy"

And then they wonder why I wish for the exploding charabanc on the M6! Just I was starting to believe that The Sun newspaper could not possibly get any more puerile.

A Sun reporter dresses up as Conchita Wurst and "invades" the Russian Embassy. I would have laughed my socks off if they'd have dragged him inside, roughed him up a bit, then bundled him into a white van and sent him to Siberia.

But that's not the offensive part. Rhodri Phillips makes a point of telling us, as this article shows, that, "the gay 25-year-old" was raised in "a tiny village 85 miles from where Hitler was born."

And what, Mr Philips, is the point you are trying to make? Would I be right in saying that YOU were born in the same country that gave us Crippen, Peter Sutcliffe, Hindley and Brady, and Fred West? And if I did, would you find it as profoundly offensive as I am sure Tom will at your "connecting" him with with arguably the world's most evil man?

Of course, there is little doubting that if by way of modern science Adolph Hitler was raised from the dead or cloned, he would not seek Holocaust Mark II, but employment with The Sun. From my experiences with them, he would certainly be in good company! 

Monday, 12 May 2014

Russian Bigots: Can Homophobia Get Any Worse

I thought I had seen the very worst of homophobia that this world had to offer, but apparently it's no longer enough to call Our Friends Of Dorothy "asshole gays" and post pictures of cats and dogs peeing on gay actors' faces, or using them as target practice at a shooting-range.

You would think there had been a mass-shooting at a primary school, courtesy of some fruit-loop heeding one of the threats made by a fellow fruit-loop against these maligned people who are invariably their betters. You would think that Adolph has risen from the tomb to wreak havoc on the non-Arian section of the planet.

And the cause of this mass panic, this threat to the world which could see Mother Earth exploding into smithereens?

A rather cute young man who sticks a few whiskers on his face, puts on a dress, and performs an inordinately good song in a contest renowned for some of the worst music ever heard, certainly in the last few years. And the people who knock Tom are too clinically STUPID and filled to hate to see what it is all about. Well, that's that section of them who are not living double-standards.


Valery Pisscan wishes to start his own "Voice For Eurasia" contest. What he probably means is "Voice For Euthanasia", in which case he should be the first contestant. I can think of a few more who should join him, and I would very willingly be one of the judges in "Dickheads Do Dignitas", though I feel that there would be a VERY long queue. As for his sidekick, Olga Cuntalina, maybe she should take a good look around her. I've seen her face, and there would certainly be no Riot over her Pussy! Why is it that so many of these bigots are so bloody hideous? Show me one good-looking feminist or homophobe, and I'll expose myself at the next meeting of the Women's Institute! 

What amuses me is that many of these people do not practice what they preach. Only recently it emerged that ten leading anti-gay campaigners in America had been caught out--and some prosecuted--for imbibing in a little man-to-man action, and not in the conventional romantic sense.    

Russia Condemns Conchita Wurst, Wants “Voice of Eurasia”

World | May 12, 2014, Monday // 15:53| Views: 222 | Comments: 1
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Bulgaria: Russia Condemns Conchita Wurst, Wants “Voice of Eurasia” Eurovision winner Conchita Wurst. Photo: EPA/BGNES
The Russian MP from the Communist Party Valerii Rishkin said Russia must stop participating in  Eurovision contest and create its own - “Voice of Eurasia”, reports Interfax.

“The results of the latest Eurovision were the last straw,” he said. “We must leave this contest immediately, it is high time that we stop tolerating this madness. Each year Russia spends EUR 40 M on this.”

According to Rishkin, Russia had enough resources and possibilities to create its own song competition “Voice of Eurasia”. “We have global events such as the Olympics, we can have our own contest,” he said. “I think that all countries from the Eurasian space, as well as many others, will support us.”

The victory of Austrian transvestite Conchita Wurst, who attracted the public attention mostly with his somewhat weird appearance, sparked a public outrage in Russia.

The ruling party United Russia expressed its indignation with the victory of the “bearded drag queen”.

According to the deputy head of the parliamentary committee on family, women and children, Olga Batalina, the results of the Eurovision contest were the result of “propaganda of untraditional culture, including gay culture”.

The MP Vitalii Milonov demanded that the minister of culture Vladimir Medinskii  bans the performances of Conchita Wurst to Russia.

“The stage image and the music, performed by this entity of unidentified sex, are in itself an insult to the majority of Russia and many other countries,” he said. “It would be a culpable negligence to let him on our territory.” All Are Welcome! Join Now! - See more at:

Sunday, 11 May 2014

Great Speech Ton-Conchita: But Do Bigots Change?

It was a great post-Eurovision speech, and the world IS changing, slowly but surely. But you will never change these prime examples of human degradation that like to think they are right all the time.

We've all experienced them at some time or other. Debris which is so desperate to be recognised and accepted that they bully and boast of their own imagined achievements--telling us how successful, how wonderful, how loved they are. I've seen actors telling us how sterling their performances have been--when they have been absolutely blasted by every critic under the sun. I've been to book fairs where authors have taken a sneaky look around them, then brought out a clutch of books from their little plastic carrier, stuck it on the pile after moving accepted books to one side or even dropping them in the rubbish bin, then taken a sneaky picture and boasted on-line that their work is the centre of attention and in the best-sellers when it is at Number 4 million on Amazon, and not even on the book fair list or photographed in the appropriate category. I've seen singers boasting that their performances are sell-outs when there have only been 100 booing people in a 2,000-capacity venue. I've seen "straight" men knocking gays, then rushing off for a cosy little rendez-vous with clandestine boyfriends. I've seen directors boasting that their films are neat little earners when they haven't even recovered the production costs. And all of these people have used a common tool--knocking those who are genuinely more successful than they are, but only in a hateful way, attacking them for their colour, their sexuality, their appearance. 

These are the dregs of society, the human puerility that the likes of Tom want to see eliminated from society. And the most amusing thing of all, which everyone but these vile people can see, is what THEY accuse us of, they are invariably that, themselves. Not only this, they possess one none-quality unique to themselves--that of innate stupidity and the inability to see beyond their prejudiced noses. 

And the best way to deal with these supreme examples of  sub-human vomit? Ignore them and let them rant and continue making fools of themselves! We know, and so do they that they will always remain nobodies, vainly attempting to acquire attention at someone else's expense. Ignore them, and if one of them dies somewhere near you, reward them by pissing on their grave!

Saturday, 10 May 2014

Tom Conchita Wurst

A massive kick in the balls for homophobes around the world. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. There's only one good homophobe, and that's a dead one.
May one homophobe enjoy a lifetime of slow and painful suffering for each vote Tom achieved tonight.

Roger Normand: The Dustbins Of My Heart! Valentino, Callas, Eusebio & Garbo!

 My godfather's memoirs, "Les poubelles de coeur",
to which I own the rights. They were always way too litigious to publish in France, and even now they could prove awkward. The stumbling-block was the footballer, Eusebio, who has recently died.One actor with whom he had a 20-year secret affair is still alive, but only just.
Roger's godfather was Jacques Hébertot, who for a time was also his lover. Another lover was Robert Florey, who was also Hébertot's lover. In their very small world, both Hébertot and Florey were lovers of Rudolph Valentino. Here is a fraction of one of Rudy's love-letters to Florey. The remainder I also have exclusive rights to, as Roger was one of the executors of Florey's will. The language is colourful, to say the least, which proves that Rudy was human. The passion they had for each other is unavoidable. Valentino opens his heart--about his horrible wives, about his thieving manager, about the studio chiefs. Believe me, he rarely holds back!
The other letters in "Les poubelles de coeur" also tell us a lot about Eusebio, Maria Callas, and Greta Garbo, who were all close friends. I released some of the Callas information in my biography of her, and it caused quite a stir. There's also quite a lot about Piaf, which I have already published in the "Interviews" book, and a lot about Gérard Philipe.
I am not going to publish the entire book--it's over 500,000 words and in the tiniest print I have ever seen. Roger was obviously trying to save money on paper! But I will publish all the material relevant to the people I have written about. Maybe it will only shift a few thousand copies, but this I don't mind. What is important is that Roger's legacy be made available to a wider audience. 
I loved him.

Friday, 9 May 2014

Tom Neurwirth aka Conchita Wurst

Staggering does not even begin to describe this man, a veritable blaze of talent. I would like to hope that next year, Vienna will be calling!

Morrissey Biopic: Such Thrilling News"


Morrissey is one of the most charismatic singers to have ever graced a stage, and one of the most fascinating that I have been involved with. Now they are doing the biopic of his younger years, which I should imagine will present the casting director with an ENORMOUS problem. Who can they find in this country who can effect a Manchester accent AND look as staggeringly lovely as he did when younger?

I remember him pre-fame, when he used to knock around with James Maker. They used to go to the Gemini, with its infamous back yard and the lovely Peter Adams, who I knew so well and who tragically died of AIDS. I'm not sure if they were there when I judged the heat of Mr Gay UK. They may have been.

There have been a glut of excellent biopics, of late. Sometimes, as with the two that I'm involved with, one has to bend the truth slightly to placate the backers--the men with the money. There's a rather fabulous Rudolph Valentino biopic doing the rounds at the moment--the women in are not so hot, but the man playing Rudy is scorching. There's been one Dalida film, and we're about to get another, "Dalida & Tenco", about that ill-fated love-affair. I've seen the actors and they are both stunning! There's also one at the development stage about Maria Callas, which promises to be a corker.

And now, hot on the heels of George Formby, I've been asked to revise my biography of Morrissey--not the kiss-and-tell, but "Landscapes", which I published when I was "Morrissey-green". The publisher who approached me called it "laudatory and cloying". The odd thing is they weren't interested until today, which is why I'll be doing it myself. As the first two both hit the six-figure mark, charity begins at home, as they say! I just hope I'm not regarded as some kind of latter day Johnny Rogan--you know, spending one's entire career writing about the same person so that you have a "Cruising versus Fedora" scenario. Morrissey wanted him to die in a smash on the M6--I borrowed the fatwah for a few pariahs of my own. Then when he found out that Rogan didn't drive, he wished for a hotel fire. I guess it doesn't matter how you cook the eggs so long as they're edible when they reach the table!

So "Steven", here we come. Just don't let out boy down!

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

See What The Tabloids Have Done To Poor Freddie Starr


Dear Tabloid Journalists,

Take a good look at these two pictures, taken just a couple of years apart--then hang your heads in shame. Two years ago, some of you put me through the mill and I wrote publicly that I wished for you to meet a dramatic end in a smash on the M6...or maybe it was the M1. Then there were just three of you, though within a year the saloon car had become a charabanc, and currently it's a double-decker bus.

I've seen some of you in the pub across from the High Court in London, with your steamed-up glasses and 'hooray-Henry' smarmy miens, sharpening those quills ready to give some poor soul a roasting just to satisfy your over-inflated egos. The first was Gillian Taylforth. We were standing outside the court when one smarmy git shouted to her, "Do you want to suck this, love?" How very drole. I would have let you suck on a hand-grenade, surrounded by your buddies somewhere on Hampstead Heath.

You've done it to William Roache, to an actor friend of a friend, to Jimmy Tarbuck, and to a whole host of others. 'Name and shame them,' you say. Doesn't matter whether they're guilty or not. You get a good story out of it and you go home to your loved ones, perhaps stopping off en-route for a little illicit sex, and the next day boast of your achievements. "I got him! What a caring person I am!"

None of you have the brains to realise what evil you are perpetrating. Freddie Starr will probably die very soon--he's a sick man, and you bastards have made him a whole lot sicker.You will probably write a very tiny piece on Page 17, which no one will see, apologising for your 'oversight' which you splattered across your front page. I find every single one of you contemptible. I was threatened with legal action for saying that I would expose one of the hacks who came after me, and my greatest regret is that I didn't because I was thinking about that person's family. But did that person think of mine? No! But, as my mother used to say, God moves in mysterious ways. Current events seem to be heading towards boiling point, and I am now the one sitting smugly in the background waiting for someone else to mow the lawn, so to speak.

As for you, dear tabloid journalists, you will continue to rake in the dosh while making the lives of celebrities a living hell because your mentality, and that of your editors, is firmly rooted in the gutter with all the other tab-ends, shit and vomit. But one day your victims will hit back, and when that happens, you will know about it. In the meantime, when these celebrities--most of whom are in their twilight years--are found innocent, why don't you put your consciences where your mouths are now, and expose the "victims" who have made up these stories inn the hope of earning a fast buck.

Ah, sorry. Conscience is a word which is not in your vocabulary.

Monday, 5 May 2014

Marlene Dietrich: 22 Years Today

22 years since my friend left us.
I think about her every single day.

Simon Blumenfeld: The Man Who Knew Valentino

I don't very often write here about my intimates, primarily because it's nobody's business but mine and theirs, and if people decide not to believe that I knew so-and-so, that's their problem, not mine. I'm only posting this because I'm currently having a clean out of the loft, and this is what I found.

Simon knew Rudolph Valentino--or should I say, he was part of his "surround committee" when Valentino visited England. He was seventeen at the time. Valentino was with his lover, André Daven, and according to Simon (his real name was Sidney) they were besotted with one another, at one stage holding hands under the table. Simon was straight, but he said that such was Valentino's charisma that he actually got turned on while in his company. There's no picture of his bulging crotch, just as there is no picture of Rudy and André doing the horizontal foxtrot--like I said, I couldn't care less whether anybody believes me or not. 

There is a group picture of Valentino with Simon, outside the Marble Arch Cinema. I'm not going to post that, either.  I've also found a picture which Valentino autographed--the real deal. I never even knew that I had it!