This country is going to the dogs. We have racists teaching us now not to be racist, homophobes telling us how to treat our Friends of Dorothy, war-mongers drilling it into us about how to achieve world peace!
The latest crackpot scheme is that our children should start off the school year with a Grade A pass, then spend the rest of the year trying to keep it. As always, those trying to teach us how to bring up our children don't have any of their own. Giving them good marks to start with, the so-called experts say, will give them confidence.
No, it won't. It will make them depressed when they start failing!
I went to one of the best schools in the country--I'll be backed up in this by William Hague, who went there with me. Our teachers were tyrants. If you cheated on the cross-country run in the middle of winter, as I did, it was four wallops on the bare arse with Mr Fisher's running show, in front of the whole class--then four laps of the quadrant in the snow. If you gave the teachers lip, or failed to hand in your homework, it was the cane or detention. It never did us any harm!
If you did badly in a test or exam, you were told you were thick as pig-shit, or words to that effect, and told to pull your socks up, or else. If you went home and told your parents why you'd got a clout from the teacher, you got another one.
Today, it's deemed psychologically damaging to call a child naughty. Therefore we have yobs hanging around street corners, smashing bus-shelters and attacking people. The authorities spend more money, in a recession, trying to reform people who then go back out on to the street and re-offend.
There are even barking mad groups who say that when your child has a party, don't just invite his friends because if you do, the rest of the class will feel unwanted. Let them! A child needs his friends at his party and parents need to know what they are inviting into their homes. No use having the place wrecked by the local loons by inviting them just because they might feel left out! You might as well just send out a few invitations to your local nick when it's your wedding anniversary--who knows, they might send around a few child-killers to make up the guest-list!
We need a return, and swiftly so, to 1950s values. Bring back the cane, bring back detention, if a child is stupid then tell him so. He needs to know, and then he might improve. Stop making prison like a home from home. No TVs or computer games. Make then regret the crime they have committed and then maybe they'll go on the straight and narrow instead of being aware that, despite a loss of freedom, they can have a better life on the inside. Give them bread and water if' they've committed a serious crime and make them suffer for what they've done. If it's murder and there's absolute proof, bring back the rope.
And the answer to all of these problems begins with school. Stop coddling them from an early age, and they might just make better adults and the crime rate might just be reduced!