Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Doris Day: First In Bret Back-Catalogue

This week sees the first release of my back catalogue: Doris Day, who depending on which source one heeds, turns 90 or even 92 in a couple of months time.

I anticipate the usual "Wet Hen"--the screaming loopity-loop who leaves little messages like seagulls with the squits, urging people, "Don't buy this one--buy the other one!"

Legitimate authors NEVER do this, of course. Doris Day UK and a very good biography by a very good US writer not only came out in the same month, by some strange quirk of fate they ended up having the same cover. Neither of us complained--we left that to the fruit-loops, and both books hit the six-figure mark because normal, rational, authentic authors do not attack each other, for whatever reason. 

Most importantly, Doris Day herself liked BOTH books!

My loves, the customer is ALWAYS right! He or she buys exactly what they want, from where they want, and for how much they want. They don't need some ninkampoop ORDERING them what to buy just because THEY might not like what their so-called rival has written. When someone is told not to do a thing, in my experience they do the exact opposite. As is happening now. The customer and fan is never wrong, neither are sales figures. And for the critic who said recently that they would rather see a "good" book selling no copies than a "bad" book selling thousands--Sir, you are talking out of your posterior! Who in their right mind wants to write and publish a book that no-one wants to read or buy?

Normal customers, in tradition with normal writers, always welcome differences of opinion. The only person who knows/knew the star in question is/was the star. We all make mistakes. Fans have never seen me publicly criticise another author in the media, on radio or television, and certainly not within the book itself. This represents the unsavoury stench of amateurism. Fans never will. Neither will they see my boasting about my "wonderful work and wonderful life". Self-praise without exception leads to abject failure, and there are no exceptions. I leave it to the fans to decide whether I am good or not, as an author or as a person. When one author publicly condemns another author for his writing style and personal life, that author only reveals their ignorance, insecurity, and of course their lack of genuine talent and authenticity because desperation has caused them to attempt, but fail, to draw attention to themselves at the expense of someone else.

So, for the sake of Doris Day and the dozen others in this back-catalogue, Mr/Mrs/Ms Detractor, please keep up the good work. Continue with your sterling, daily but tiresome efforts to me look good, and yourself look like a twat!

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