Wednesday, 16 January 2013


[Pictured: The Valentino Art Deco Dildo, copyright Roger Normand]
Had a very interesting chat with a young police officer today who, shall we say, is looking into the rantings of Bob (Barmy Old Bugger) who in her new capacity as Hollywood's answer to Rosa Klebb (the resemblance is quite remarkable) has taken it upon her self to make a few films about me and post them on youtube. The only people who watch these are friends of myself. This is why comments are disabled, to stop people from taking the piss.

She is by far the most cruel, heartless, insensitive, vindictive, vituperative, nasty, prejudiced, reprehensible, hateful, vocally grinding, annoying,  pathetic, puerile, mysogynistic, self-praising, manipulating, cringeworthy,  horrible cyber bully that it has ever been my misfortune to stumble upon.
Initially the boys in blue, who have been aware of this old nut-case for a while, suggested that I try not to draw attention to her 'work', which currently stands at around 400 screenshots, the writing of which has taken up far more of her time than any book she might not get published. In fact, attention must be drawn to Bob just to show you how positively box-of-frogs crackers she really is. Her real name is Evelyn Zumaya and she purports to being a writer, though you will never find anything by her in any bookstore, and the one book she published last year (the only praise it received came from herself) was quickly zapped because it contained a very detailed analysis of her claims that we were trying to bump her off. Not true--her reputation has long since been assigned to the tomb, courtesy of herself. She claims that it is about to be republished, with a title very similar to my own. We welcome this--it will be interesting to read the press reviews, though of course there will be none because she has been media blacklisted. However, we are very caring souls. Should we ever see her sitting on a little three-legged stool outside Tesco crooning 'Kashmiri Song', we will drop a coin into her tin. In the meantime, if you want to read her book, all you have to do is google around and you can get it for free as a PDF. It's quite good, some say--for propping up that wonky table leg.
And yes, the copper and I did have a cuppa--though someone had nicked all the KitKats!

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